Lanai's Diary

A Sneek Peek into the Diary of Lanai Jarrico

A look into the Phenomenon of Online Dating

By: Lanai Jarrico

It happens thru internet dating websites, basic chat platforms and in virtual worlds across the metaverse.

hundreds of thousands if not millions are experiencing romance over the internet . Many claim to find their true love or more acceptable term "Soulmates" thru online interraction. Is it becoming the new way of connectin on a deeper level by getting to know the person from the inside out.? Or could it be a double edged sword creating more Heartache then Happiness.

What Exactly is a Soulmate?

A Soulmate can mean different things to different people. It all depends on what they are looking for in eachother but in its simplest form it means to share a mutual level of understanding to the point where thoughts become connected and many times can be seen in the finishing of eachothers sentences and knowing what they are going to say or do next. vise versa. This in itself is a phenomenon that is becoming more noticable online . We are all still learning about ourselves and what our brains are capable of, so it's certainly a possibility there is some sort of phychic connection that we cannot fully understand but is more real then many want to believe.

This experience is evident in many cases across the internet and world where people claim to feel emotions from others without words. Soulmates can also be someone that shares similar experiences in life or a connection with someone that forms a whirlwind love affair never felt before, creating "Simlationships" in a virtual world.

What is a Simlationship Anyway?

Simlationships are Virtually formed Relationships created within a simulated environment. Nothing is what it seems, but seems so real.

Is it really real or is it a figment of the imagination that is amplified by visual stimulation and false representations of oneselves thru Avatars that do not match who we really are. How many of us actually look like our avatars or even better or do what are avies do?

Many will argue it's as real as the air they breathe but for some there's one very important factor that seems to be disregaurded as invaluable. Physical Affection.

Poseballs can only do so much and can create a temporary form of comfort or arousal but after a while partners can become frustrated when the other senses are not met. Like touch, smells and sounds. these things play a vital role in the true act of intimacy and human nature. Is this the turning point that makes those engaging in online dating to take it to real life and the next level?

How Does it Work?

Not considering that a virtual world has the convienience of removing the normal everyday stresses that family and friends can bring on, financial situations and other things that give us all daily stress.

These Simlationships are built more on the fantasy of what they would consider a perfect or near perfect lifestyle together.

There are Pros and Cons to any situation.

Most of us dont take the time out to look at each and every detail of our decisions in life. A Relationship works depending on how honest you and the other person have been with eachother. Much like real lfe but in a virtual world.

Taking that into consideration , It's much easier to hide behind an Avatar and sugar coat who you are, painting pictures of a 3rd Life and getting away with it. that's one of the many reasons to be cautious.

Many Issue that can toss a monkey wrench into taking it to real life , especially in the Online Dating Scene is Long Distance Relationships. No matter how you try to work around it and collage students know best , it just doesnt work.

  It's that Physical Affection Factor that lingers in the background poking at our natural Human need.

Unless one or the other are willing to make a big sacrifice, these simlationships fizzle out before making it to real life. Even if "Love" played its role. Is it really love or just infatuation?

Is there a Line between SL and RL?

Others keep the line drawn between RL and SL because they know the baggage of online dating or are in real relationships that they aren't willing to give up. If there is a Line its very thin because the friends many make in SL often spill into RL. They just seem to last longer if it's strictly platonic with no monkey business involved.

Are Simlationships considered Cheating for those with a significant other or married in real life ?

oH yes the Big Taboo Topic

Swinging right from the start, It can certainly causes Divorces and break ups.

 For the RL Significant other of the online dater, it's a downright betrayal of trust and Cheating to Tell another person you are in love with them, Spending time online more then with a spouse gf/bf and including affection and sexual acts like kissing, cuddling and cybering can be considered cheating even if the two never met physically.

There are those that will argue and say it isn't cheating, and its simply a way of satisfying needs not met in real life or it was something unexpected and they are unsure what to make out of it. the only thing I can say is We are all still learning about these crazy emotions involved in a virtual world.

Many of us will learn from our mistakes or not, but always remember someone will end up hurt if honesty isn't a priority. If you are willing to make that sacrifice, that is upto those engaging in online dating, it also depends on what they can live with.

What is the appeal?

As in real life, we all seek companionship. To be loved and accepted. That is what drives people together. The feeling of that first kiss, brand new relationships, It creates an addictive rush.

It's hard to explain unless you've experienced it . That is the thrill especially for those who have lost that feeling in their real life realtionships or have a hard time finding it. It is easy to find online....multiple times.

What exactly are the expectations of an Online Relationships?

If you look at an online relationship from outside of the box, you can clearly see it's like creating a prison around yourself and the other person. It limits lots of people. If there's no chance of being involved in real life there is no sense in setting bounderies around eachother. It's like spending countless hours over a hot and steamy stove making a perfect Thanksgiving dinner but never serving it. Why go thru all the trouble? Not to mention when real thanksgiving comes around. Who will you be spending your time with unless you set the laptop on your dinner plate.

How Long do Online Relationships last?

Its sad to say the average Simlationship expectancy is about 4 Months based on the countless break up reports from avies who change their partners more then they clear their cache. Those who have lasted a lil longer may have been in one or more simlationships in the past and finally found the one and are happy. It's rare but possible.

Can you really trust someone you never met?

Hmmm. Now this is a question thats hard to put a definate yes or no to.

With the way people act and the threat of Stalkers and people with other hidden agendas, is it safe to be trusting? No, it is Not.

Using your best judgement and not sharing too much information as a "just in case" it turns south and all the pictures and chat logs end up turned against you. or if you are not willing to be confronted by a stranger approaching you in a parking lot with a fist full of daisies. its best to be discreet about your personal life info.

Is it Possible to Only keep things in Second Life?

Yes, If you are 100% honest with everyone you meet. Be yourself without leading anyone to believe there are possibilites of more then what you are willing to give.

If both can agree and are happy by simply being friends experiencing secocnd life together then the thought of slapping a label on eachother as a "couple" to keep away the perverts and stalkers can be considered. It's a great idea to partner up. This strategy is used by many who don't want to be propositioned for dating or sex.

But on a more serious note...

Save Money on Christmas and Birthdays!

 If you want to think on the frugal side and keep things light and uncomplicated...It's a very cheap form of dating that will save you money on gifts,gas, going out , resturant bills and certainly prevent any unwanted pregnancies, divorces or other drama that can cause you more trouble then you need.

In a Nutshell, Online Dating can bring you happiness but can come at a heavy Price of Heartache so think long and hard about making partnership commitments in a Virtual World by explore all your options and consider any consequences.

Over and Out

~Lanai Jarrico

Entry- Monday November 10, 2008

Dear Diary, Yes..it's been a few weeks since I've rambled on about this journey I call my Slife..

Lately the whole prim baby idea has been put on the backburner while I've been handling some business, shaking sticks at the haters, cleaning up SLE a bit and working on some new projects, even here a well thought out plan for having babies and whatnot is a process that needs clear thinking and right now...I dont' think I can pencil in a Prim baby. (sorry to those on the edge of your seat to watch the drama unfold)

 Things are changing, SLE is growing and needing more time but at the end of the day I can atleast sit back and relax a bit and play catch up with some friends.... and sleep.

ENTRY- Thursday October 23, 2008

BACK TO THE GRIND

Dear Diary,

It’s been 2 weeks and I’m still not pregnant!… Not that I been practicing or anything… *innocent look*

 I’m begining to think any mention of a Prim babies acts as a repellant to the Guys in second life. Especially to those that or bold enough to approach me wanting a piece *sighs*Even those shameless pervs stopped calling… What’s a girl to do? I guess I will go back to partying like a rockstar or with them and just continue to keep my figure as I explore Second Lifes nooks and cranies. I may just put this baby thing off until a Prince Chaming comes along that doesn’t mind being part of the soap opera I call my SLife.

Either way don’t be upset that this is taking a little longer then expected for me, who knows what trouble I’ll get into in the weeks to come. Maybe I might decided to be a vampire , try working the pole as a second job or even have a wild Las Vegas Night and end up married to a Noob…

~Lanai

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Entry-Monday October 13, 2008

Rehab?

I have a confession to make and if I didnt use my diary to let it all out..what would be the purpose of having it?

Either way I'm sure to embarass myself or turn my SLife into a Daytime Soap Drama. Last week and the week before that I had my avie heart set on having a prim baby but hit some road blocks with errily familiar needs required to bring a bundle of prims into this crazy virtual world. A man or other "contributor to the prim gene" and without a doubt at least 10k in savings to pay for it all.

I'm sure It boggles my friend's minds that I decided on such a ...random adventure so here's my chance to explain my actions

 (for all you diary readers too , yea you!)

My Idea for going thru with it has everything to do with pro choice in SL. It's not to chain myself to a cheap 1 prim stove and "settle down" in Second Life. That would be boring and too traditional...

The purpose is to document what its like going thru each stage and seeing what random ordeals I will have to endure with a shouting belly demanding a glass of milk and some rest all the time. Will I be accepted by my peers?

 According to those closest to me, I have zero patience and a raging Workaholic. Which is true but I would take time out to practice my acting skills and pin the baby on someone, have dramatic episodes in each stage of gestation and even freak out in the delivery room all for your reading pleasure.

(First baby photos will be 500K tyvm)

Not that I'm trying to take the shine from Drama kings and queens that are acting all over second Life I figured this would be an interesting new adventure since I want to have a Second life too.. But before I go ahead and get myself in trouble..I have a confession to make. I have a terrible SL addiction and will be "In Rehab" Until October 19. During this time, I'm gonna to refrain from working for a week and even ween myself off of strip clubs to prepare myself for this 9 week Documentary.

~Lanai

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Entry- Friday October 3, 2008

IF IT AIN'T ONE DRAMA ITS ANOTHER...

As I sit here in the castle wondering what to do with myself, I figured it would be the perfect time to continue my topic from my last entry when I announced I was having a baby and didnt know who the dad was... Apparently I have avies readin' my diary and asking me If I'm pregnant yet, who the daddy is and even one who wants to throw me a baby shower! *coughs* Tammy Toll *couch* lmao

I'm sure my diary was roughed up a bit as yall scrambled to read a potential Jerry Springer type of situation involving me knocked up and confused...

 Not to disappoint anyone who would have found that amusing but Nope I'm not pregnant...yet but thanks to those that have been contacting me to ask about the impending bundle of prims...I forgot to consider a very important part of having a baby...no not the daddy..but omg the expenses! over 10k worth if you want to go thru it the right way. With the whole tandum belly pack that tell you when to get it on for a possible conception, another belly pack with various stages of gestation topped off with clinic appointments, lamaze, baby accessories and oh yea..the baby..

It makes me wonder, even here I need a man (sugar daddy in this case) to share this financial blessing/burden with or a big bill will be in my future...

Let's see if I get any response from this one...

~Lanai

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Entry- Thursday September 25, 2008

I'M HAVING A BABY AND I DON'T KNOW WHO THE DAD IS...

Here goes another spillage of random thoughts about this week...

Aside from Summer being officially over, getting a chance to sample Second Life's Worst Musician, Working, working and more working...I've been thinking about tryin something new,lately I have been entertaining the thought of popping out a prim baby just so I can document going thru the whole pregnancy experience here . I don't have a baby daddy, so I guess i'll be going thru it alone ...I'm ok with that...Ithink.

  (if you wanna be the daddy, call me) jk I'll go for Artifical Primsemination...

The whole reason for this random endevour is the need for a better understanding of why I keep seeing knocked up avies all over the place but rarely see anyone with a baby on their hip or strapped to their back on a harness of sorts.

Don't get me wrong, It's a beautiful thing to see a waddling avie with her significant other being happy and enjoying second life but what I dont get is knocked up chicks dancing crazy in clubs,wearing something that doesn't even hide the stretch marks and with heels on top of all that! Ladies...have some dignity you got a baby growing in you! go chain yourself to a stove. Anyway, It's an interesting concept and one I need to explore and figure out why it exists and things Like, where do all these mystery babies end up? Theres gotta be a day care around here or atleast Parenting facilities that prevents new moms & dads from stashing their newborns in inventory until they decide to give birth to them again. Whatever the case may be with this Avie parenthood thing, I'll be picking out what my baby's sex will be ,what it will look like, get it boxed up,my prenatal appointments booked and I'm good to go!

~Lanai Jarrico

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Lanai’s Diary Entry

Monday September 15, 2008

What’s Slove got to do with it?

Dear Diary,

 I’m in the mood to talk about Sl Romance, It seems to be everywhere I look and the questions about who I’m with is always coming up…like ”oohh who’s that new guy?”,”who was that guy from yesterday?”Who was that last week?” “how many men do you have?”, “Let’s get married”, “are you a lesbien?!?” umong other questions.

 I think inquiring minds wanna know what really goes on behind the scenes, even in my Castle! (thank you for the lovely snapshot, paparazi lol)

 *closes the blinds*

 Not that I rezz and tell but It's rare I talk about my "slove life" to anyone but I figured why not my Dairy...

 Quite frankly I'm affraid...Not of what avies will think cause everyone has their own opinion but I just can’t get past my anxiety of those aweful paparazzi shots that end up in tabloids across the metaverse, usually of embarassing snapshots of wardrobe malfunctions, no undergarments while stepping out of vehicles or even having a stage make up and bad hair day trying to go to starbucks for a latte...

That would totally cramp my style for sure seeing how they Shred Lindsey, Britney and that Paris chick to pieces In the real world . I can only imagine the frenzy that would occur here with all the speculations and whatnot. I think If I decided tomorrow to put my blackbook up for an SL Auction I’m sure it would blow the top off SL’s A-list Community and maybe I'll be able to help pay some tiers..But I don’t want all that attention...

*cracks up* relax, I'm just kidding!

I Had to make a comment like that because it’s a topic that comes up in conversations all the time .

I’m beginning to think I can’t be seen in public with a Hot guy or Girl! without watchful eyes kicking up ideas of what really goes on in my im when I’m standing around all quiet. Even when I’m liplocking or being a cuddle bunny in plain view…maybe I'm discussing Newtons Laws, This week's sports rundowns or maybe even discussing a new recipe for "Special" brownies with a friend in Amsterdam.

Keep it movin avies, there’s nothing to see here…It’s Just (my) business

*fixes halo*

~Lanai

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Saturday September 6, 2008

WOW *swats at all the dust build up on my diary*

Dear Diary, Sorry I abandoned you for so long, it was not my intensions, I have just been so busy...

A Wise avie once said , "As long as you are busy, you know you are still in business"

That keeps me positive (even if I take the longest route)

but It's been a while since I've rambled on here and I feel the need to express myself...

 

Throughout the years, I've noticed a trend In the Summer time, there's a lot less Residents and activites going on here Second Life and when (rl) winter rolls around, it gets busier here making it "The New Summer" and I'm SOOO looking forward to a (SL )Summer vacation!

 With Summer coming to an End as the Fall/Winter Seasons begins, all the hybernating residnets will begin to trickle back. I can't wait to see what this season will bring.

Lately SLife has been a lot of work for our team who have been helping pull The SL Enquirer/Corruption Plaza Sim together. Things are starting to happen and its getting exciting.

Sound valley Concert Grounds is now having more concert, Club Lanai parties are happening 3 times a week and SLE is being updated more.

For me, It's been a constant rotation of meeting avies, new ideas coming and going, even getting a little dose of drama From griefers and other (BullBLEEP) that happens here and there.. , (even I'm not immmuned to drama lol).

I just feel I should go easy on some of them sometimes and not be a vigilante writer putting them all on blast in SL police reports . ...

Maybe I'll feel different by Monday ...

  One thing I had to remind myself is try to make the best decisions I could and stay focused on my purpose here. My Friends are important to me and Entertainment is what I want to have and bring to others.

The reason I am here in the first place. dispite those who try to make my SLife or other's SL difficult and or miserable. My hopes are that we all can enjoy Second Life in a way we can "live and let live" causing the least amount of stress on another.

Now if Only we can get through this Current issue we all face...

Second Life Customer Service! i'm sure everyone is flustered by the waves of recent issues causing avies to crash land, teleportation malfunctions, loss of hair and other accessories and worst of all...NOT BEING ABLE TO LOG IN!

Somethings gotta give! *calls my thearapist*

~Lanai Jarrico

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Saturday August 16, 2008

Dear Diary,

It's been a week since I rambled on in my diary about whatever I feel at the moment. I'm glad to say I don;t need to jot down anymore words of encouragement to myself until my next crisis... I figured I'll just do what I do and enjoy myself and let the pests stay ignored and keep on keepin on.

I spent my week working hard with my team tying up loose ends for The SL Enquirer/ Corrupted Plaza Sim and getting ready to Plan the Hottest Block Party In Second Life. (Hey... a girl can have dreams)

~Lanai

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Saturday August 2, 2008

Reflection and Encouragement

Dear Diary, It's been a long week with lots of reflection on where SLE is today from when it first began. It's been quite the journey with many hits and misses. My job is not easy but I accept it as my own and something I can be proud of. I've learned a lot on my journey here. Some things I learned with a bad experience only to rise above it and Move on.

The rewards are meeting good people who are in second life for the same purpose which is Fun .

My intentions in Second Life are good, I just want to share SLE with whoever is interested in it. I have no binding rules or expectations except trust those who are nearest to me.

 This week has been particularly difficult as I manage the paper and make sure The New SIM will be a blast when we launch it.

  One thing I wish to accomplish is a place were people can come together for the love of the game and be cool with eachother.

 Reflecting on a few difficult decisions I've had to make, I remain positive, focused and I will move forward in my goals.

~Lanai

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Tuesday July 29, 2008

Dear Diary,

Aaahhh... It's been a while since I went on a rambling Spree but I've been sooo busy .

I'm told I'm a Worhaholic and I admit that, proudly even. but I do take a lil time out to find deals, meet new people and even dumpster dive from time to time. But Since I've been back from vacation, Trapped Underwood, owner of Corrupted Innocence gave me the green light to create The SLE Sim! so Together with The SLE Team (which are some the most talented people I've ever meet and my great friends.) We put together our resources and created a Downtown Atmosphere Where our visitors can indulge in Live Entertainment at Sound Valley Concert Grounds,Exclusive Parties at Club Lanai , the New SLE Castle, Shopping and other needs and Services like a photo studio, our Media Center and Public Relations office there's already lots to do but construction is still going on... but when it's complete, the real fun will begin!

~Lanai

 

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Tuesday July 8, 2008

Dear Diary, Looking back at picks from my last few vacations.... I think I've got it all out of my system for now...

I’m back from vacation and I must say that was soooo needed . I feel refreshed and ready to explore New Places, Spotlight New Faces and bring SLE fans what they want to read about…if only I can get thru these 268 vacation emails, offlines, Spams from those fake African banks needing urgent replies... Love letters, Hate mail, bill collectors and e greeting cards.

 fast enough so I can hang out , go on a couple dates, window shop and hit some major party Spots before Summer is over.

Between work and play I’m sure to be kept busy, Maybe I’ll save the extra juicy details of my vacations for my new Book going on Sales in the fall …

~Lanai

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7-3-08

Dear Diary,

I'm feeling better after lastnight crazy outting...

 It's been a long time since I busted out my diary it feels so good jotting down my thoughts even bringing out my dramatic side like I did with my last entries all for the sake of venting and writing about all my experiences good and bad.

Some days loom over me like a dark cloud and other days the most outrageous things happen and brings out the Sun again.

My friends are the reason I stand on my soapbox and taking a step back I have no complaints because it's worth the crazy ride...*pops dramamine *

 

This week's vacation from "working" will do me some good I can already tell

..Now if only I could put down this diary!

~Lanai

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7-2-08

Dear Diary,

 I woke up on the right side of the bed today wow lol

My first day on vacation was interesting I sent my work clothes to the cleaners ,put on my beachwear and went to Laguna beach with a friend to test out floatation devices and just have some fun in the sun...then somehow we ended up going"member" shopping at (BLEEP) World but he ended up settling for a freebie from some bargain basement...Exhausted from the days events I opted to go to bed while he played with his new toy.

~Lanai

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7-1-08

DEAR DIARY,

Ever wake up on the wrong side of the bed and think what you do has no significant value to anyone around you but yourself?

You work so hard to run yourself in circles just for the sake of entertaining someone else, expecting help from others who say they support you only to realize your alone in your struggle and shouldnt expect anything...even from your own friends...

Maybe juggling 2 existences is more then one person can handle if the work you do isnt even for you...

 Maybe at the end we all run into the same problems.

Missing out on more important things...like real life and the problems that bring on the same feelings..

wasting time on things that dont't benefit you or worse, did nothing for anybody else..

voicing ideas & opinions on deaf ears...

being taken advantage of, for granted or used...

it's all the same whether its in real life or the vitual.... personal issues , living issues, business issues, friend issues or just stuff that pops up laying rubbish in your way...Is it all part of a pointless coexistance?

Who really benefits if your unhappy?

*plays the violin*

~Lanai Jarrico

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