Lanai's Diary

I am feeling burnt out and I need some sunshine, a tan, communication with the real world which has become alien to me and a few more calories in my diet...so I'm taken a break! But before I go, just wanna say... my dramatic exit for a month long vacation comes with great Grammy Awards winning qualities...I'm just sayin..

This week I sent a dramatic note about going on vacation and harped on about SLE's impending doom in my absence, just like a damsel in distress would. Upon reading it a few days later, I realized just how pathetic I can be when I'm feeling all stressed out and trying to write letters to my staff and friends. Not that I'm nominating myself but, I deserve the award and a slap cause everything will be ok according to my must trusted Advisors.. Reading it from the outside looking in I can be such a whiner and by posting it for everyone to see is just embarassing myself a little more every time I chose to leave my Diary unlocked for all you wandeirng eyes...yea you.

So with all that said here's just some of what they recieved without the added *cliffnotes...

Dear SLE Family and Friends,

Let me start off by Thanking you all for every effort you put into The SL Enquirer, your creativity and ideas are what help make SLE what it is today and most importantly being a friend to me. I truly feel like we are all part of a virtual family. Everyone has been so helpful to each other and I'm so proud of everyone. I want to apologize to those who I have not gotten back to on projects and inquiries in a timely fashion and for being the scatterbrain that I am. Managing this all is a tremendous responsibility as you know and I don't want to let you down. I'm handling things to the best of my ability, given whatever situation I'm faced with. It's like raising a child and wanting the very best for them and doing all you can even if it exhausts you. My time here is becoming increasingly limited as I'm choosing to spend more time with my family and enjoying first life a little more. That's just one reason, the other has to do with this laptop grr.

*More of a reason to get some rest & relaxation...It's almost forced!

 Can't be here with out access to the Internet ...

With this new dilemma that SLE is being compromised and if I don't keep the engine going, It will fall off track and fail.

So Instead I'm always driving myself into the ground constantly trying to juggle everything I do on top of that figure out what I will do now!.

 I'm sure I'm not alone with this kind of struggle.

As do many who strive to create and maintain something that is important to them.Not having a reliable computer to use only adds to that .

 I feel torn in my heart that I can lose something that means a lot to me too.

*I need to shut up and admit I'm addicted to Second Life....

but When I think about this as a major accomplishment in my life as a result of hard work and determination not just of myself but all of you that help create a place where people all over the world can communicate, read and have a chance to be heard. I don't ever want to see that go. Even if I desperately need a vacation lol.

That is my point of addiction denial...

I don't think virtual media will grow in the future, I know it will and we are all part of this new frontier paving the way for those who will come after us. This is the torch we are running with and I want to see my friends make progress and succeed along with me.

*More addiction denial but am I making sense?

  I feel not only will I disappoint myself greatly but each and every one of you if I fail. A great sadness comes over me that I may once again have to put something aside that I love and defines a lot of who I am. Just like I did when I sacrificed sculpting for writing back in 2004. I was an artist for 8 years prior to SLE. My decision was greatly based on wanting to be there for everyone else no matter if it's real world or virtual but it has finally caught up with me and now I'm completely exhausted and need some time for myself. I might just sculpt again with my hands free and a chance to get back into being creative and having an outlet to release built up ideas and an overflowing imagination that often keeps me up at night.

*OK Where's the waterproof mascara and the violins...

Will the Show go on without me here , meaning The SL Enquirer and our existing projects?

Truthfully, SLE Cannot go on without me as Sole Editor in chief.

Since there's no newspaper quite like it. Besides that, I must create the pages that writers work on while handle the constantly accumulating inquiries and CEO type decision making.

The only way I see it helping keep my sanity and being possible to continue is if I could teach editing to those willing to learn, so they can manage their own pages.

This will greatly reduce the amount of hours it takes me just for one update. At this point, about an hour a page,so 6-8 hours is the average update and that's with 2 editors who do their own pages besides myself.

A day in my shoes...

When I log into Second Life after a Monday update, the rat race begins. For the first couple of hours,I'm contacting staff individually, making payments, handling Offlines, Imz & work inquiries that extends well into the week, then it starts all over again. It's almost not my fault I'm considered a workaholic when news never ends.

It kills me to try and ask anyone to work more then they are willing or able to but to relieve some of this stress, I need an administrator or someone to act as my right hand, helping me.

let's keep it real...

This is a job that most people wouldn't jump at the chance because in the real world people get paid good money to do it and being that I'm experiencing all the work without any paycheck and in a virtual world , Instead I am the one paying for it. Literally, no pun intended but that works too.

 I'm not in it for the money, there is more going out then coming in But I'm still unclear why I like to torture myself with the expenses and the overwhelming stress of my hobby.

  SL is almost like going to the dentist when your perfectly fine and asking to get teeth pulled. Meaning its just crazy ,who would want to do that and be in my position?

And the ramble continues...

 

 The way I see it, We are on a world playing board with major potential to create mass exposure & market anything we do, we all got time in the world but at different times if that makes sense.

Anyway No matter how I look at it. This world can be way more unpredictable then the real world and we all have lives, more then one and in order for mine to work I need something more organized then myself cause as of yet, I've not found any handbooks on how to be CEO and Manage a Virtual world newspaper alone. Maybe I will end up writing the book on how to burn out as the CEO of..?

And here comes the dramatics...

Anyway, As I sit here with my laptop issues I cannot begin to tell you how my frustration is quite honestly about to fold me. I understand that as a professional I should wear a hat that makes me almost invincible to others perception, But I have never been the one to want to be fake, play into glory for myself or build up someone elses ego. I am who I am. So with that said, I'm being human and true to myself by letting you all peek at my diary and what's on my mind.

OHHHHH the Horror!

To drop a cheery on things, This past week, My laptop started to act up from an occasional flickering of power. So I thought it was my power cord again. A Couple months back I had the same issue and had to buddy breathe with my hubby's cord to stay afloat and keep SLE moving along unaffected. It took forever to get a replacement. But I did. And yall probably didn't even notice lol

The cord issue actually happened twice...

This time all the same symptoms, but I realized it wasn't the power cord at all but the outlet on my laptop where you plug it in. That's really lovely and comes at a fantastic time. At this point I feel drained from the stress of it all and decided I'm going to put all SLE projects on hold. The Fashion Show, maze,and Race all projected for July will change to a date we feel we are 100% ready to present a well organized event . So No Rush. Those who are hosting these events, Should keep their sponsors informed, keep an updated list of progress and perhaps hold off on any payments from sponsors Until I can be their to accept it. I do not want sponsors paying me while I'm offline without my knowledge.

For the time being I will come on when I have some time and I will return to the rat race when I am able to work 100% with a clear and less stressed mind. At this time Writer's block will be just another reason to add to the list.

Yup.. I need a break and here comes the tears...

 If my laptop gives out on me, I'm not sure what I will do next cause buying a new laptop is not an option right now and neither is hiring a replacement to handle things for me. Just like many people around the world....This girl is hurting

Here's how you can help...

I'm asking that during this time, If you want news published email me or contact Persia Bravin,

 For time sensitive or events, there will be an issue until I'm back to work again.

For those who are interested in editing your own page. please be patient with me while I sort out publishing arraignments for you. I will be in world to honor events booked before my decision to go on vacation. Hopefully my laptop will allow this too.

As Part of my time away I will be thinking of ways to maximized my time here for the benefit of SLE , my well being and those working with us and no longer will be accepting anymore Writers & freelancers material or advertising unless they are sent to me properly in the form of freelance note card with all required fields filled out by deadline. All other Inquiries and press releases are to be emailed or I won't respond to them. This information can be found at the SL Enquirer Media Center.

In world offlines, Inquiries and note cards given to me have a strong chance of getting lost, or my Imz being capped so all correspondence with me should be done via email. I will be checking them in the mornings and will respond there. I may not be able to get to all in a day but please bare with me.

Anyone outside of SLE with inquires will have to visit the center for information and follow our system.

I Hope with the much needed time away, and an organized system I am able to come back and pick up where we left off and grow from there.

My Vacation will begin July 6 and continue thru the month of July. I will deal with urgent appointments & Meetings only during this time. Last Publishing Day is July 6th. And will resume July 27th.

let's Just hope my laptop issues are resolved by then...

 

  xo Lanai

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